¤ Well its been along while since i've updated. Read my past journals, wow, my kitten walked on my keyboard alot. I saw in my old entries that it only took me bout 2 months to fall for Bubby, and here it is almost 3 years later, and I still have the same feelings, if not stronger. But this pregnancy has been hard on me emotionally. We've gotten in alot of fights, so bad that I almost moved to Ohio. I've been mostly alone to the point when he leaves me to hang out with his friends, he makes me want to hate him for leaving me. He has his moments where he's excited that we're having a baby, then he has those moments where it's like he wishes I never got pregnant. He never said it to me, but the way he's acted through out this tells me so. I told him that he gave me a great B-day present, he was like what, and i told him the baby is my present. Something I've been wanting for 4 years.
¤I have no job, no car, I feel alienated from everybody. No one really talks to me anymore. I send emails, texts, and get nothing back. It's like my friends forgot about me.
¤ The mask is back. the one that says I'm fine, nothing is wrong. I've spent so many nights in the shower crying I feel so shitty. I'm constantly feeling down, and there's nothing to get rid of this feeling. I can't talk to anybody, I mean, what is there to talk about? I'm depressed about a bunch of shit, and I can't talk to anyone, specially not down here cuz ppl don't know how to keep shit to them selves.
¤I'm tired, but don't want to sleep. Bored, but there's nothing to do.